Inspirado 4/7 Recap! Ariana Grande Defeats Metal Bly

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. And after last night the crown will now lay upon a new head. That’s right folks Ariana Grande defeated Metal Boy and a new champion reigns at Inspirado.

 

The ominous signs of a hostile takeover were evident even during trash talk. AG’s Matt Sellitti said the best ways to attack a team is through its strengths, he then asked where Woody Fu was. Pat May fired back with a clearly uninformed rant about the previous line ups of Ariana Grande. He then once again apologized to people for having to watch Hello Laser.

 

Then Ariana Grande took the stage.

 

They chose the dumb challenge of Brad?: Every character in every scene is looking for someone named Brad. In this set we saw:

 

-A rhyme heavy version of A River Runs Through it. Which Branson Reese described as “Like Dr. Seuss wrote this while he was asleep”

 

-A church that featured “Hug conversion”

 

-A group of men searching for a lost child who was revealed to be “retarded” (the use of this word and it’s political correctness were much discussed), had a severe head injury, and was terrible at jokes.

 

-And of course, a psychic, who moonlights as a exterminator, outing one of many cops (including bad cop, flirty cop, and incompetent cop) as a murderer of Asian women.

 

Then the champions entered the stage for the final time. Metal Boy chose the Nerdy Challenge of Bored: Your set is the 12th hour of a seemingly endless bored game. In this set we saw:

 

-A bored game with some strange thing called “Mana Dice”

 

-A couple on a terrible first date

 

-A couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other or their jizz off of the dice.

 

-A man who chose to play this game instead of meeting his wife on the Brooklyn Bridge (like in the Sex and the City movie). Which of course led to the wife being saved from killing herself by The Angel of the Brooklyn Bridge (Thursday’s at 8 on NBC).

 

-A man who allowed his car salesman to move in with him.

 

-And of course, a man trying to buy a chess board being bombarded by another man with an original bored game and a nurse who needed to buy only the Queen of clubs in order to pay off a very long card trick that ended up killing another person.

 

When the dust settled and the new digital tally was taken, Ariana Grande defeated Metal Boy and takes over as Inspirado Champion. They will return next week to face Team Lopez: Puppet Improv. Thursday 11pm Magnet Theater!!!!

 

 

 

 

Inspirado 4/30 Recap: Metal Boy Gmails Robopop to Death!

 

It was another barn burner at good ole Inspirado, as Megawatt darlings Metal Boy took down hip hop improv troupe Robopop.

Pat May started things off for trash talk as he pointed out how there were two people who came forward to trash talk for Robopop while Metal Boy only needed the one. He also commented on how Robopop’s beatboxer had tested the mic pre-show and Metal Boy had no need for mics. Annemarie Cullen cut back by saying that everyone on Robopop was casually sleeping with the members of Metal Boy and, because they wanted to continue this torrid affair, she would not trash talk the team.

Then the improv began!

Robopop started things off by selecting the Physical challenge of It Takes all Kinds: Every character in each of your scenes is of radically different sizes. They received the suggestion of Tampon, and boy howdy were there some tampons in this show! We started off with an opening number about bathroom attendants, super sized tampons and fat guys in the ladies room.  Then we met Delores and her mother who were sitting in adjacent stalls. Delores had some questions about sex that her mother addressed in a rap that covered the baisics, how Delores was little and her mom was big, and how Delores’ father had to hold up his wife’s fat folds in order to do her. Then we cut to underneath a giant bed. And by gosh o’golly was there a lot under that bed; poison darts, a river, and a bathroom attendant. Then there was the obligatory Narnia rap. Which covered how Narnia was a sensual dimension and lovely, lovely Turkish delight. We saw some other highlights throughout the night, a young boy getting a boner for the first time accompanied by his talking dick, an Adams’ Family rap, and a very tumultuous bathroom attendants meeting. The set ended with a brief look into what it would look like if the towel guy from the bathroom played Santa Claus in the mall.

Then Metal Boy took the stage!

After a bit of a tense, and rather long, challenge picking, mostly due to some insulting language and confusion from host Ali Fisher, Metal Boy chose the Dumb challenge of Where Are We Supposed to Meet Again? – Your set is in the style of a group email thread in which no one is communicating well or paying attention to important details. They received the suggestion of Barbie Girl which they basically ignored. We saw a group of folks sitting around sending each other emails trying to organize a rehearsal for a dance competition that was in four days! However, this group could just not focus, they kept getting side tracked by puppy videos, vines, being away from home, and being bloated. We then jumped away to a Taco Bell where Eli refused to admit that he had been to this same Taco Bell earlier in the day. We then went to a sperm bank where three men were forced to masturbate into the same cup at the same time, which of course generated the obligatory discussion of ookie cookie (which I will not explain here but feel free to check out this urban dictionary description NSFW).  While the men were masturbating, Nolan, who was a watching nurse, found out his father had died. THEN! we saw Carly preparing by herself for the dance competition which led to the revelation that her brother had been the first person to get a woman pregnant in space. We saw this acted out with the most handsome member of Metal Boy portraying the zero gravity sperm. We saw a lot more fun stuff from sweet sweet MB, including, a zombie art piece, a discussion of the new Goyte song, and a 40 year old man doing the Macarena. The set ended with Eli back a Taco Bell still denying his previous attendance.

When all was said and done Metal Boy won in a squeeker and will return next week the take on Ariana Grande in the ultimate Megawatt showdown. See ya’ll there, only at 11pm, only at the Magnet Theater, only at IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAADDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Inspirado Preview Metal Boy Vs. Robopop

Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight at 11pm at the Magnet Theater, Megawatt mavens Metal Boy will take on rip roaring rappers Robopop in a battle for the ages! So far Robopop has laid on the trash talk fairly thick and Metal Boy has remained stoic and silent. Who will win in this classic battle of Foghorn Leghorn Vs. The cat that get chased by Pepe Le Pew? Will Robopop be able to back up all their talk with some big blasting beats? Will Metal Boy suffer from lost opportunities to foul mouth their foe? Find out tonight! Be there or. be. square.

Inspirado 4/23 Recap: Metal Boy hits A Group of Dad’s in the Balls

 

A new era of Inspirado began last night. Ali Fisher hosted by herself, Brain teched in the booth for the first time, and the brand new Inspirado trophy, THE MYSTERY BOX, was revealed. What is in the mystery box? We may never know…

The night started as it always does, with some trash talk. Pat May of Metal Boy began the evening by doing some math. He added up the number of members of Group of Dads at a Bar who had been on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, which was two. And he added up the members of the group who couldn’t pay their rent this month, which was all four. Jon Bander (in character as a dad at a bar) fired back by stating that he simply did not understand what a Metal Boy was, he also hit the Inspirado sign (which is going through a transitional phase) pretty hard.

Then, after Pat tried to prematurely select a challenge, Group of Dads at a Bar took the stage and the improv began!

GODAAB selected Random which was the extremely complicated challenge of You Pick Two: Select numbers between 1 and 8, these number correspond to the Challenges on the Inspirado board, your challenge is a combination of these two challenges. And so GODAAB had to combine the Physical challenge of Your entire set is a five minute improv scene performed in slow motion and the Individual challenge of Your set is each character telling the other characters about their dream. Boy howdy is that a mouthful! Anywho, GODAAB then did a set which took place at a bar, mostly involved each character talking about there dreams, and according to Bander’s character, only spanned five minutes of actual time. There were occasional bits in slow motion but those were blamed on each character having just had a stroke. The dreams of these characters were all vivid and unique. One man dreamed of exactly what was happening at the moment, of him and his friends sitting at a bar talking about dreams. Another man dreamed of riding around on a lawnmower like a cartoon villain. Which prompted a discussion of weather or not Dick Dastardly’s canine companion Mutley could talk or not. He could definitely laugh but could he talk? Is talking the same as laughing?

GODAAB’s set continued as they drifted from dreams to talking about how movies now a days were only a dollar but a coke was 5$. Then the dads slowly realized that Justin’s dream was no dream at all but rather a nightmare. It mostly focused on how he had agreed to take over his Father-in-law’s business but then mucked it up. He was still tormented by old Mr. Mooney screaming at him for mucking it up. Their set ended with a discussion about how the name Todd had been sullied by Todd Bridges’ coke addiction and how there were no more famous Kevins.

Then Metal Boy took the stage. They selected the stylistic challenge of The Funny things you do: Your set tonight is an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos. It started, as all AFV episodes do, with a fantastic rendition of the AFV theme song, sung by the most handsome member of Metal Boy. Then, current AFV host Tom Bergeron, took the stage to the audience’s chagrin. Immediately people walked out as they realized that Tom Bergeron was not Bob Saget. People even called into the show to complain about the lack of sweet Saget. Then Tom started showing some videos. Most episodes of AFV feature lovely vignette’s of things going slightly awry in everyday life, Metal Boy’s interpretation of this was a series of videos in which people get arrested for trying to get a baby to suck a dick, trying to steal a baby, helping a dog to buy groceries at a store, and allowing an orangutan to enter basic training in the army. Even a cat trying to open a bank account ended with the classic AFV twist of someone getting nailed in the balls. Back in the studio, the producers were constantly berating Tom for not being Saget, even the friend of the girl that Tom loved, and was trying to communicate with through the magic of broadcast television, thought he was star of Major League Tom Berenger. We saw an anvil fall on someone’s head, an orangutan jerk off on someone’s face, and an audience member with no pants, all in all it was a pretty standard Metal Boy set. It of course ended with a young boy trying to blow out his candles only to have his face burned off.

After the votes were counted Metal Boy emerged the victors. They will return next week to take on Hip Hop Improv group Robopop! Will they finally open the mystery box? Almost certainly not, but maybe…no it won’t happen. BUT COME NEXT WEEK 11pm! Magnet Theater! IIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Inspirado 4/23 Preview! Metal Boy Vs. Group of Dads at a Bar

Now that the Oh Shit! Dust has settled it’s time for us all to move on and this new era of Inspirado begins tonight! Megawatt Maverick’s Metal Boy take on veteran indie team Group of Dads at a Bar! Who will take this battle of independent vs. tied down by the chains of a theater? How sad are these bar dads? Will Justin Peters show off his Who Wants to Be a Millionaire chops? WHO KNOWS? But there is a way to find out!! Go to the Magnet Theater tonight at 11pm!!!!! HUZZUH!

OH SHIT RECAP: PEPITA FINDS A DOG A HOME!!!

 

 

OH GOSH! OH MAN! OH CRAP! OH SHIT! What a night it was, DRAMA! INTRIGUE! POOP! DOGS! Some crazy crap went down on 4/16 at the Magnet theater and man o’ howdy if you weren’t there buckle up your seat belts and I’ll spin ya’ll a yarn.

The night started off with the return of host Willy Appelman who came back merely to witness the crowning of a champion. Then trash talk began.

Pat May of Metal Boy began by apologizing to the crowd for having had to watch Hello Lazer in order to be in the audience for Oh Shit! Then it quickly became clear that he didn’t really understand the show as he claimed Metal Boy was going to win Oh Shit. Pepita brought out the big guns and went through each member of Metal Boy and saying what to look for them doing in the show she said:

To Look out for Pat May’s “shaking water off his hands dance”

That Suli claimed to be the only one with low self esteem

That Sam (while still being very handsome) looked like a giant baby

That Carly enters every scene like a shy girl.

That Chrissie laughs through every scene.

That no one would know who Nolan was because he never steps out.

That inversely Matt Shafeek can’t stay out of scenes.

And that Eli makes all Jews look sad.

Then the improv began!

Metal Boy started things off by choosing the dumb challenge of Star Wars Telephone: Every scene in your show is someone describing the new Star Wars trailer. And oh Boy was there some descriptions of the Star Wars trailer. We began with two friends discussing the highlights of the trailer; the opening pan, the mellophone music, chewey, the Millennium Falcon, all that good stuff. After a hilarious Jalapeno poppers walk on, we jumped to the high pressure world of grave bomb disposal! The grave robbers were constantly distracted by the ups and downs of the Star Wars trailer. Through out the night we saw the classic tropes of Metal Boy,  poop, panning, blindness, Matt Shafeek entering too much, and more! John Williams made several appearances and the night ended with him not being able to remember exactly which movie Star Wars was.

Then Pepita Selected Oh Shit!

Her challenge was called Dog: During your set tonight you have to find a home for this real life dog! Then we met Rango (called Ringo during the show) who was a ten year old Dachshund mix. The rest of the night was a parade of potential suitors for Ringo, but Pepita was fickle. She immediately undertook the massive responsibility of finding a proper home sweet little Rango. First we met Vera, who liked Rango but wanted a big dog. Then Jenny, who was immediately eliminated due to her youngness. Emotion was high as Rango did not really get comfortable on stage before he was allowed to walk freely around the Magnet and even walked back stage to sign the back wall. The night soon devolved to a group of people sitting in the Magnet watching a dog walk around a room filled with the tension of him potentially not getting adopted. Pepita kept finding reasons to deny suitors; they were either too young, lived in an apt. that didn’t allow dogs, would get frozen yogurt and allow the dog to get eaten by a predator, or were pat may. Then…with only a few minutes left…A young boy and his mother stood up. They lived in Connecticut, already have a dog, and come from loving family. Though it was a tense night, Rango found a loving home to live out his years and we raised a lot of money for an excellent dog shelter.

Next Week Metal boy will return to take on the Oakwood boys. And if you would like to see it go to the Magnet next Thrusday at 11pm.

If you are interested in donating to the Shelter we got Rango from or adopting an animal check out their website. They are an excellent shelter who supported the show spectacularly.

http://www.animalhavenshelter.org/

4/16 Preview: Pepita Faces Oh Shit…and metal boy

OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST SHIT! On Thursday night Pepita faces her Oh Shit Challenge. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have not yet seen Pepita during her incredible 8 week run, I highly recommend seeing her if you have the ability. Her weeks at Inspirado have been magical. She has put on an incredible run of shows and this will be her crowning achievement. And if you go this week, you may walk away with something special….also Metal Boy Will be there.

Pepita Takes Down FNS Marches on to OH SHIT!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen…boys…girls…pigs…male pigs…transgender pigs…everyone! Everyone gather around this warm fire and let ol’ Uncle Inspirado spin ya’ a yarn. This yarn is long and growing longer by the day, and this yarn ain’t even finished yet, for this yarn is about a lady named Pepita, and she my friends is moving on to the Oh Shit challenge in just two little ol’ weeks.

This night began as any other night. With trash talk. Matt Weir of Friday Night Sh*w took an interesting strategy claiming that there were 5 members of FNS present at the show and that five fingers make a fist and therefore they were going to fist Pepita. Pepita responded by simply pointing out what a disturbing image it was of the five of them fisting her naked body.

FNS then chose the dumb challenge of This Never Happens: In every scene in your set, someone must have an orgasm. And orgasm they did! Oh my what orgasms there were, your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado has nerry seen so many orgasms in a single improv show. Why it began before they even started improvising Andrew Yurman Glaser jerked Matt Weir off while he was getting the suggestion. Once they started improvising the orgasms flowed like high tide at the Baywatch set. Things began with Pamela Anderson giving the eulogy at Tom Selleck’s  funeral. Which of course lead to Tom Selleck and his brother in a flashback scene rubbing their dicks together until they both came.

Then a dog came on Andrew Yurman Glaser’s leg.

After that we saw a barber shop that employed Jenna Jameson to have sex with the special customers. She barely needed any help having an orgasm, why she did it all by herself. It is here that your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado would like to mention that there were two teenage age boys in the audience this night. Anyway, we then met a lovely couple, one of whom had dead black shark eyes and could only get hard if Baywatch Nights was on. Once he threw on some sunglasses he got his rocks off right there on stage. Then some more orgasm happened.

Then Pepita with a loping gate took the stage. She selected her final remaining category, Individual, the challenge was Call Me, Yes: Your set tonight is a phone conversation with someone from Elana Fishbein’s phone as Pepita. With an oddly specific challenge she at first decided to call her mom, who wasn’t home. Then, once some technical issues were ironed out she called Elana Fishbein’s childhood friend Ryan. At first the two merely caught up, we learned that Ryan was approaching his ten year anniversary with his partner Jason. He was thinking about getting married but didn’t want to just because the government told him it was suddenly okay. As things went on the conversation between the old friends got increasingly intense. We slowly learned of past slights and grudges between the two. There was even a time when she put his name on a paper she wrote so he would get credit, then later that same day he called her a lesbian in gym class! One revelation followed another until we got to the biggest of them all:

PEPITA AND ELANA FISHBEIN ARE THE SAME PERSON!

This came from Pepita’s own mouth so it must be true. The revelation sent shockwaves through the theater. That was until we learned that Ryan had at one point in high school considered suicide until he realized that if  he followed through Elana wouldn’t have any friends. Yes, your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado agrees, things did indeed get very intense. At the end of the day it was quite clear that these two were old good friends. All this lead to the satisfying conclusion that all the cool people Ryan wanted to be friends with in high school were just boring people living in New Jersey and Elana had grown into an awesome comedian.

And after the votes were counted Pepita…or eh…Elana…or Pepita…AH! Who knows! She won, she’s going on to OH SHIT! The culmination of 8 amazing weeks of performance. Join us won’t you? On April 16th (that’s two weeks folks) as she takes on Megawatt Mavens Metal Boy in her Oh Shit Challenge! Reserve your tickets soon gang because it’s sure to sell out. You can reserve the whole seat, but YOU’LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!

Inspirado Preview: Pepita Vs. Friday Night Sh*w

“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.”

-Florence Scovel Shinn

Pepita lies one win away from an Oh Shit! Challenge…ONE FUCKING WIN! FUCK GUYS! I MEAN COME ON! What more could you people want? Oh let me guess, a really good team for her to go up against? WELL HOW ABOUT ALL STAR TEAM THE MOTHER FUCKING FRIDAY NIGHT SH*W!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean Jesus fucking Christ! What more could you people ask for?! Huh!? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US! We’re trying as hard as we can! We can’t try any harder! Just come! You’re not doing anything else. Just come to the show and sit back and enjoy it. Why do you refuse to be entertained! Fine, just don’t go. I don’t give a shit…please come.

Inspirado 3/26 Recap: Pepita Shoots Down AK-47!

 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Pepita has taken 999 one mile long steps and now lies a mere step-mile away from the Oh Shit challenge. That’s right cat’s and kittens, dog’s and boys, Pepita defeated AK-47 last night and butt scooted ever closer to the Oh Shit challenge.

Trash talk was multilingual, as Andy Moskowitz of Ak-47 did most of his trash talking in Spanish, which he assumed was Pepita’s native tounge. Now as your ol’ Uncle Inspirado doesn’t speak spanish, but I’ll do my best to recap. He said something about being banned from Wal-Mart, something about a baby with Downs Syndrome, and something about being the worst part of Ariana Grande. Pepita responded by saying it was strange he brought up Downs Syndrome, that she was hungry, and also that she was tired.

Then it was provy Mcprovin time.

Ak-47 was up first and they chose the Nerdy Challenge of A Bunch of Alfreds: You are not super heroes but rather your set tonight is a gathering of their non-super helpers. Before they began they asked if Alfred had to be in their set (the answer was no) and who the man who ran the daily planet was (the answer was Perry White). Alfred figured heavily in their set and Perry White failed to make an appearance. The set mainly featured a group therapy session between Alfred Pennyworth and Wonder Woman’s sassy friend Tabitha, who spent the whole set calling Wonder Woman “Wonder” and not her actual name “Diana”. That seemed pretty strange to your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado, but I don’t wanna start any beef with Ak-47’s Kelly Donahue. ANYWAY! Over the course of the set we learned many things, like how Batman and Wonder Woman had become engaged to the chagrin of Alfred and Tabitha, how in an attempt to stop that marriage Tabitha had lezzed out with Wonder (but only waist up stuff, which still counts), and how Alfred had a major issue not constantly reminding Batman that both his parents had been shot in the face. We also learned that Alfred and Batman had had their own one night stand, which was extra creepy because Alfred is like Batman’s father. Also Alfred has Bell’s Palsy. Then we all sat back with a glass of warm cherry and a Turkish delight and watched Pepita take the stage!

Pepita chose the Physical Challenge of Booty on the Ground: For your entire set your butt must be in contact with some part of the Magnet Stage. And butt scoot she did! Oh the Butt scooting was glorious, simply glorious! She got the suggestion of Splinter and it reminded her of how some person had recently talked to her about how Splinter was a great teacher to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because he let them make and learn from their own mistakes. Your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado doesn’t know who that person was but it was probably a real smart guy, sounds handsome too. ANYWAY! She decided her set would be about teachers and interviewed audience member Sandip about one of his favorite teachers. He talked about an english teacher he had had who was tough but fair yet got fired because some student complained to the PTA about her being too difficult. Pepita was flabbergasted that the PTA would give teenagers such power. Pepita also found out that the teacher in question taught at the same high school that the first gay man Pepita ever dated (who later got Lyme’s disease from getting a tick while having sex in the woods) had attended. CRAZY! So then Pepita did some improv where we learned about Marissa, a high schooler who hated Leaves of Grass and just wanted to do theater scenes. The character of Sandip had a crush on this Marissa but failed to gain purchase in her heart. We flashed back and forth between school and a sleepover where Marissa complained about Leaves of Grass. Let your Ol’ Uncle Inspirado remind you that Pepita was doing all of this while butt scooting around the Magnet stage. She ended the night with mentioning downs syndrome, staring daggers at Andy Moskowitz, and then revealing that one of the characters had been poor this whole time!

When the dust settled and the votes were counted Pepita won in a squeeker. She managed, by a slim margin, to come one step closer to OH SHIT! Next week she will take on Friday Night Show for a spot in the most coveted of challenges. Will she do it? Can she make the last leap? Will Rick Andrews be there? Does he read this? Find out next week, 11pm, only at the Magnet theater, only on IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAADDDDDDDOOOOOOO!!!11!!!!1!!1