Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. And after last night the crown will now lay upon a new head. That’s right folks Ariana Grande defeated Metal Boy and a new champion reigns at Inspirado.
The ominous signs of a hostile takeover were evident even during trash talk. AG’s Matt Sellitti said the best ways to attack a team is through its strengths, he then asked where Woody Fu was. Pat May fired back with a clearly uninformed rant about the previous line ups of Ariana Grande. He then once again apologized to people for having to watch Hello Laser.
Then Ariana Grande took the stage.
They chose the dumb challenge of Brad?: Every character in every scene is looking for someone named Brad. In this set we saw:
-A rhyme heavy version of A River Runs Through it. Which Branson Reese described as “Like Dr. Seuss wrote this while he was asleep”
-A church that featured “Hug conversion”
-A group of men searching for a lost child who was revealed to be “retarded” (the use of this word and it’s political correctness were much discussed), had a severe head injury, and was terrible at jokes.
-And of course, a psychic, who moonlights as a exterminator, outing one of many cops (including bad cop, flirty cop, and incompetent cop) as a murderer of Asian women.
Then the champions entered the stage for the final time. Metal Boy chose the Nerdy Challenge of Bored: Your set is the 12th hour of a seemingly endless bored game. In this set we saw:
-A bored game with some strange thing called “Mana Dice”
-A couple on a terrible first date
-A couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other or their jizz off of the dice.
-A man who chose to play this game instead of meeting his wife on the Brooklyn Bridge (like in the Sex and the City movie). Which of course led to the wife being saved from killing herself by The Angel of the Brooklyn Bridge (Thursday’s at 8 on NBC).
-A man who allowed his car salesman to move in with him.
-And of course, a man trying to buy a chess board being bombarded by another man with an original bored game and a nurse who needed to buy only the Queen of clubs in order to pay off a very long card trick that ended up killing another person.
When the dust settled and the new digital tally was taken, Ariana Grande defeated Metal Boy and takes over as Inspirado Champion. They will return next week to face Team Lopez: Puppet Improv. Thursday 11pm Magnet Theater!!!!